Reel4LifeQuestions to ask for a eulogy or tribute video
Updated
In short: ask for a specific moment, not a general impression, and give different people different questions based on how they know the person. Here are 82 questions, grouped by occasion and by chapter of a life, that reliably get people telling real stories.
"Could you send a few words?" gets you a few words. "What's your first memory of her?" gets you a story. These are the questions Reel4Life offers contributors. Each person sees three, chosen for how they know the person, and most can only be answered by one person so the stories don't repeat.
For a eulogy, funeral or memorial
Beginnings
- What's your first memory of Joan?
- What was Joan like as a child?
- What was Joan like when they were young and just starting out?
- How did you and Joan meet?
The person we knew
- If you had one word for Joan, what would it be, and why?
- What was Joan like when they walked into a room?
- What was Joan quietly brilliant at that most people never noticed?
- Was there something Joan always used to say?
- What little habit of Joan's will you always remember?
Work and craft
- What was Joan like to work alongside on an ordinary day?
- What piece of work was Joan proudest of?
- What did Joan teach you about doing a job well?
Love and family
- How did Joan show love to the people around them?
- Describe a normal day at home with Joan.
- Is there a family tradition that Joan started or kept alive?
What they loved
- When did you see Joan at their happiest?
- What did Joan love doing more than anything?
- Where was Joan's favourite place in the world?
- What was Joan like at the club, on the field or on the court?
The stories we retell
- Tell us a story about Joan that still makes you laugh.
- Share a favourite photo of Joan and tell us what was happening.
- Tell us about an adventure you had with Joan.
- Which story about Joan gets told at every family gathering?
What they taught us
- What's something Joan taught you that you still carry?
- What's the best advice Joan ever gave you?
- Tell us about a kindness Joan showed you or someone else.
Farewell
- What would you want to say to Joan if you could?
- What will you miss most about Joan?
- What part of Joan do you see living on in others?
For a birthday, retirement or farewell
How we met
- How did you and Sam meet? First impressions welcome.
- What's your earliest memory of Sam?
- What was Sam like as a kid?
- What was Sam like when you first started working together?
One of a kind
- Describe Sam in three words, and tell us why.
- What's Sam like when they walk into a room?
- What's Sam quietly brilliant at that most people never notice?
- What's something Sam always says?
- What's Sam like to work alongside on an ordinary day?
Adventures
- Share a favourite photo with Sam and tell us the story behind it.
- Tell us about an adventure you've had with Sam.
- What's the best trip or night out you've had with Sam?
The stories
- Tell us a story about Sam that still makes you laugh.
- What's the most trouble you and Sam ever got into?
What we admire
- What do you admire most about Sam?
- What's something Sam taught you?
- Tell us about a time Sam had your back.
- What will you miss most about having Sam around?
- When did you first know Sam was going to do great things?
- When have you seen Sam at their strongest?
Here's to you
- Record a message for Sam: what do you want them to hear today?
- What do you wish for Sam in the year ahead?
- Raise a glass: give us your toast to Sam.
- What should Sam do first with all that free time?
- What advice would you give Sam as they head into the world?
- What can't you wait to do with Sam again?
For a wedding or anniversary
How we know them
- How do you know Sam and Alex? Tell us how you met.
- What were they like growing up?
The two of them
- Share a favourite photo of or with Sam and Alex and tell us the story.
- When did you first hear about them as a couple, and what did you think?
- When did you know they were meant to be?
- What are they like together that nobody else quite is?
- What do you admire most about the way they love each other?
- What's changed about them over the years, and what never has?
The stories
- Tell us a story about Sam and Alex that still makes you laugh.
- Tell us about an adventure you've shared with Sam and Alex.
Advice
- What's your best advice for a long and happy life together?
- What's the secret to a good marriage, in one sentence?
Wishes
- Record your wish for Sam and Alex.
- What do you hope their next chapter looks like?
- Raise a glass: give us your toast to Sam and Alex.
For a new baby
Welcome
- Record a hello for Olive to watch one day.
- What's the world like right now, as Olive arrives?
Your people
- Share a photo of you with Olive's family and tell them who you are.
- Tell Olive something about their parents they might not know.
- What were Olive's parents like as kids?
- Tell Olive a family story that should be passed down.
Hopes for you
- What's one wish you have for Olive's life?
- What do you hope Olive grows up to love?
- What song should Olive hear first, and why?
Advice for later
- What advice would you give Olive at 18?
- What's the most important thing life has taught you so far?
Letters to open one day
- Write Olive a letter to open on their 21st birthday.
Tips for asking
- Match the question to the person: school friends for the early years, colleagues for work, grandchildren for what they were like as a grandparent.
- Offer three questions and let people choose; they'll pick the one they have a story for.
- Keep one open question, like a funny story, that anyone can answer.
- Ask for a photo with each answer, with the year it was taken.
Questions
What questions should I ask for a eulogy?
Ask for specific moments rather than general impressions: a first memory, a habit, the story that gets retold at every gathering, what they were quietly brilliant at, what they taught you, and what you'd say to them now. Give different people different questions so the stories cover a whole life.
Why give each person a different question?
The same open request produces the same kind words from everyone. A specific question, matched to how someone knew the person, produces a story only they can tell.
Should I ask for video, voice or writing?
Let people choose. Some are happy on camera; others will record a voice note or write a paragraph. A mix makes a richer film.
Let everyone help
Reel4Life gathers the videos, voice notes, photos and stories for you, then makes the film and a photo book. Free to make and preview.